for-rizzles-my-nizzle:

“Maura, why the hell is our 5-year-old daughter sitting in her room reading a dictionary?”

“Well Jane, that is her punishment. I got a call from her school today saying that she cussed out a couple of boys at recess who wouldn’t let her play kickball with them. She then justified her actions by telling the principal that ‘when somebody is being a jackass, you just gotta cuss ‘em out and move on’. Do you know who she might have gotten that idea from?”

“No…”

Always. This is how it works. 

I was lost. Then I found you.

(first) date night.

mollinovation:

They have the right chemistry.

streepytime:

How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you

or

and